I have been one of the participants of the three-month-experiment.
As this time has been really insightful and surprising to me, I want to give an impression for those of you who weren‘t there. It‘s more a personal collection of feelings and perspectives than a proper analysis of events.
Three months can be a lot of time, and in terms of intensity, I can honestly say I am three years older of experience and personal process.
Two main things that were in it for me: I confronted my fears in the most constructive, yet provocative way I could imagine, and I experienced a level of support and emancipation (without rejection) that is still completely new to me.
All this in the group context of Conscious Evolution and the King’s Card Game.
In a sense, it has been kind of a spiritual journey, experiencing the different voices in my head:
“the structure”, the “judge”, the “inner child”, the “defender”, the “adult me” - all parts of the “fragmented I” that disguise as a woman of integrity.
I experienced my “borderline structure”: switching from one reality to another. I fell into the deep black hole I always tried to escape (and was I not, thereby, manipulated by my very own fears my whole life?).
Yet, within the group body, I always found my way back out again.
This left me with many intriguing questions, some of them:
What does the “defender” defend?
What does my structure intend, when it downgrades, separates, rages?
What does it hide?
I experienced how safeguarding the frame of the King’s Card Game is, and how joyful the paradigm shift to “I’m not okay, you’re not okay- and good that we know” actually is in real life. Because we live in a world where everyone tries to cover up their defects, always in fear of being rejected, this credo dramatically changes at least the necessity for this behaviour, enabling new experiences.
I am convinced that everyone of us took steps they never would have taken in any other context, leading to a growth in process that just can’t be described here, as it refers so strongly to the working hypothesis of the Essay.
After all, it was kind of a training- understanding some basic mechanisms of our conditioning that is not only intellectual but experiential and varifieable.
So, with a big toolkit of community building devices and experiences, we do not only have new projects in mind and heart, but feel enabled to support other projects.
My resume:
This approach- the Essay’s approach- enables a clarity and a capacity to act, yet a level of emancipation while everyone (who wishes to) can be fully integrated (not excluded, as in most communities), that I have never, in whatever sort of group dynamic, ever witnessed- Without the necissity of "advanced" people or a Guru.
It is the most interesting thing I could imagine.